“Siljoy, please know that I could not have felt the way I do had it not been for your continuous support.

I will always feel blessed having you in my life!”

I feel free,
free as a bird;
Now I can finally soar!
I am not alone,
for I am closer to God than ever before.
Do not cage me –
My happiness cannot be hushed;
my passions cannot be quelled.
I am free,
free from the bondage
of the past I once held.”

Jaime Marie Monier, 2011

“I started to see Siljoy after many failed infertility interventions that included two miscarriages. I felt as if I had lost myself. The worst part for me was a sense of loneliness. I didn’t feel as if I had any support or anyone to talk to. Siljoy provided me with a nonjudgmental, sympathetic outlet for all the baggage that I was carrying around each day. I would feel lighter after each session. I wasn’t alone in this experience anymore!

I would recommend Siljoy to anyone experiencing infertility. She brings experience and expertise to her practice that is hard to find.”

DB Tucson, AZ 2011

“Siljoy creates the safety to heal the hole that no one wants to talk about.”

D. Sanders, Carmel Valley, CA

“After 3 years of hoping in vain for a baby I found Siljoy. And I immediately and for the first time during this difficult time, felt fully understood by her – in my pain and with my strong desire for a child. Her help and support in the following time was invaluable for me. She mentored me through the hard times of three negative inseminations and three failed IVF treatments, she helped me deal with the many poor lab results and the brief and often heartless Doctor contacts which were part of it all. I often thought that I could only tolerate how little time there was and how superficial the empathy of the reproduction doctors was, because I had Siljoy.

I had found someone for whom my soul was equally important in the treatment as my body. And not only did I feel better, and was not at the brink of depression anymore, but I also learned a lot about myself, during this time — for me personally the most important experience was to define together with Siljoy the goal that my husband and I would find a way to become parents. And to stay focused on that. That is easy to write and maybe easy to read, but for me it was incredibly hard, to believe it and to truly feel it – we will make it happen, will be parents, somehow.

Here in Germany with it’s strict laws it was also very good and important for me to speak to someone who did not consider thoughts about embryo adoption or egg donation too exotic or as a crazy idea.

My husband and I had just started to organize first steps for an embryo adoption abroad and at the same time we got a first appointment in regards to an international adoption of a child, when I got indeed pregnant through the 4th IVF. Our daughter was born in 2009 and no day passes without me looking at her in awe – a real, authentic and – oh what immeasurable blessing – healthy child, our child.

I myself am a physician and a psychotherapist and I would have never thought that mentoring by phone could be equally effective and healing, as in personal contact. Siljoy is an especially gifted Mentor, with a very big heart…she also became a great role model for me professionally.”

E.S. MD, 36 yrs, Germany 2012

“I did not realize it at the moment, but making that initial appointment was a major turning point in my life.”…I immediately felt a calmness and self-assuredness about her, allowing me to relax a bit.

I was able to unburden some of the pain and hopelessness that was absorbing my spirit to someone who could intimately understand what I was going through; although my husband was saddened by the outcome of the recent failed IVF treatment, he was not suffering the same kind of deep-rooted grief that I was experiencing at the loss of biological motherhood.

Her capacity for being with me in the moment, and her acceptance of me as the person that I am, with both strengths and challenges, has allowed me to begin to live in the present, while striving to attain my goals.

As my relationship with Siljoy has continued to grow, shift, and evolve over the past several years, my appreciation for her as a mentor has deepened. The qualities that I admire and appreciate in her are ones that I am learning to develop within myself.”

Becky, AZ, 2010

I am “OKAY”

I always dreamed of having a big family with a bunch of kids running around the house. I thought my dreams came true when I got pregnant with twins. I carried two beautiful little boys, Cody and Cole, for 6 months. I thought all of my dreams were fulfilled. I was so ready for those boys. The cribs were bought, the matching little outfits were all hung in the closet, all washed and pressed and ready to be worn. Unfortunately, all of my dreams were shattered when they were born premature, and died shortly after they were brought into this world. Luckily, I got to hold and love on them for one short day before they were taken away.

Death changes You. Sure, time heals, but it wasn’t until I met with Siljoy and finished the grieving process, that I was ready to move on with life. I thank Siljoy for helping me to open my heart and to love again. I can look at babies, and hold babies, and be happy for others that are having babies now. For the longest time, I couldn’t.

I was angry. I was confused about why I didn’t deserve a big family, but the 14 year old next door did. I was blaming myself. Maybe if I wouldn’t have worked so hard at the hospital that day, then maybe I wouldn’t have went into labor. Maybe if I would have drank more water and not gotten constipated, I wouldn’t have went into labor.

Not to mention the fear of intimacy. The fear that “what if I get pregnant again”. How could I ever carry a baby without being a complete basketcase the entire pregnancy. The fear that this would tear my marriage apart. In fact, before we left the hospital, after the death of our babies, the doctor told us that 75% of marriages will end in divorce after dealing with the loss of a child. Death changes You and it changes your marriage.

I am so “OKAY” with where I am now. I am “OKAY”, and my marriage is “OKAY” and I can say that with a smile on my face. Siljoy helped me move on. Siljoy helped the smiley, happy Patty that everyone knows and loves shine through again.

By Patty Cummins

”A little over a year ago, I found Siljoy in my search for help with the emotional pain I was suffering about my childless status. With Siljoy’s nurturing guidance and extraordinary insight, I embarked on a profound and transforming journey of inner healing that has led me to an appreciation of my authentic self. I am now able to view my childlessness with new eyes, and I continue the process of becoming whole with each new day.

Siljoy’s holistic method is a refreshing change from traditional “therapy.” Her inherent wisdom, use of both Eastern and Western techniques, and practical, effective tools all work together to support a healthy approach to managing life’s problems and finding balance. Our sessions are conducted by phone, yet I always feel her presence as if she were right there in the room with me. In some of my most painful moments, I could feel her gentle arms holding me. And in my joyful moments, I could feel her celebrating with me.

Siljoy is truly a gifted healer and a compassionate soul, and I will be forever grateful for the difference she has made in my life.”

Linda, 51, New Hope, PA

“Siljoy is a very skilled Mentor who understands the deep issues of involuntary childlessness and helps her clients get in touch with the places that need nurturing and Healing.”

Deborah K., Davis, CA

“I found Siljoy while searching on the web for others struggling with childlessness. A woman recommended Siljoy. I contacted her after realizing how stuck in this pain I really was. The pain was so deep and vast, it colored everything I did and felt. I felt it would always be there, but I also felt I had no one to let it out to. Everyone in my life had children, it seemed. I began to feel I had ‘failed life’.

I was hesitant at first. I too had tried conventional therapy. It seemed painfully slow and did not help this issue. After my first talk with Siljoy, I felt some something move. In the very depth of my despair over this issue. … I felt… less stuck…I remember feeling surprised. I agreed to further telephone sessions. The next session, again, more movement , I took a step forward . It felt like a solid step too. A good solid step forward. Here was a person taking my hand, and gently leading me out of the dark, sad place I had exiled myself to. I did not think it possible. She has given me surprisingly simple but effective tools to look at things in a new way. Each session was now a step up and out of the darkness, into a much brighter and more interesting life.

I so vividly remember sitting on the floor looking out the window, talking with Siljoy, tears streaming down my face, watching the sun and wind in the leaves, and also feeling that fresh air and sunshine now entering my soul. My life now felt more like an onion, with many many layers. There was much more light, layers, interests, and a feeling of connectedness in my life. No longer feeling isolated, and sad.

I felt my old playful self return, but this time, wiser, kinder, and much more connected to life and all of her mysteries. I can not explain in words how good it felt, and feels. I now honor this part of my life, it no longer controls my life. My life is as rich and interesting as I wish it to be. Siljoy, I so want to thank you for this.”

Becky, 58, Afton, MN

“Siljoy is the only [one] I have found who specializes in helping those of us who are childless with this very challenging issue. She creates an atmosphere of complete safety and trust for everyone, no matter how they might be feeling about not having children. She helped me pass through great pain to live happily as a childless woman, embracing all my options with new-found tenderness and wisdom.

My longing for a child has been so profound that I can truly say that Siljoy helped me decide to keep living, staying open to many possibilities for myself. She is such a GIFT.”

Melissa, 42, Pacific Grove, CA

“Siljoy has been a wonderful guide and support person. I was at a crossroads with my infertility journey. I needed someone to talk with that truly understood my pain. I was searching on the Internet one night for some kind of support and Siljoy’s article – “Empty Arms – Dealing with the Pain of Involuntary Childlessness” caught my attention. I read it and knew that she truly understood! My only concern was that her practice was in California and I live in Illinois. I emailed her. We scheduled a free phone session. I was unsure at first about doing phone sessions. After talking with her I knew it was right. The sessions have become invaluable. I have found happiness again in my life. I am peaceful and whole once again and healthier then ever because of Siljoy’s wisdom and compassion. I cannot thank her enough.”

K.A.F., Crystal Lake, Il

“Siljoy addresses the complexities of childlessness with compassion and love. She guides and teaches in a way where one can move from the anguish of being childless to seeing the light at the end of the journey.” S. B.-W., Salinas, CA

“Siljoy listens not only with attentive ears, but with a deep compassionate heart. She holds out hope, offers fresh new perspectives and highly effective tools while helping me find more peace and ease in living with chronic pain.”

J. S., Carmel Valley, CA